9-17-08

The projector plays my life
on scratched up old film
the motor hums and clicks through
frames of artificial handshakes and rehearsed jokes
a sloppy old band practice
with mediocre amplifiers
plug my head into one
let my thoughts scream through the speakers

it shows when
I touched your hand on a sunny afternoon
playing to the soundtrack of the birds singing and
the construction workers hammering
i didn't kiss you at the park
but i did
in my mind

it shows when
i touched your face on a rainy evening
playing to the soundtrack of r&b and booming thunder
i kissed you in my room
and closed the door
in my mind

it shows when
i hugged you at the beach
playing to the soundtrack of seagulls laughing
and waves crashing
i looked you in the eyes
and you kissed me
in my mind

it didn't show when
i prayed for the rain to stop drumming
or for the wind to pick up
it didn't show when i looked
into an empty wallet and frowned
and smiled at you
but it did show
when your face screamed a frown

i want to leave the city
because the brooklyn bridge is dark at night
let's jump off the sidewalk
and swim in the whispering long grass
and you can snicker at the crickets tickling your ears with their song
i'm afraid of losing you
to shopping carts and discount magazines
to the joy of the dinging of the cash register
rather than the squeaking rusty swing

or maybe

i'm afraid i'm lost in those
because the clicking old film
shows
you touched my hand first
and you laugh hard at the
squealing of the trampoline springs
and the city is too bright at night

we should let the wine splash on the floor
and let the grapes hit the dirt
when you close your eyes during the day
the sun still is there

so let's both smile for the camera
and for the sun
and for the moon
and for the stars
and for the grass
and for you
and for me

i can't hide my mind from the paparazzi
and i can't hide my mind from you
and i can't hide IN my mind

my love for you will be played
and be sung off key in a microphone
into an old buzzing tape recorder
and i'll rewind the tape
and give it to you
and you can play it
through your headphones
and
i'll sing it to you live
and you echo the words
so i know you're listening
and so i can hear you too
and we'll ride the rattling subway
to the center of the earth
away from these busted machines
and from corrupted paper
and our beads of sweat will dance
and the strings from our clothes will unravel
and I'll look you in the eyes
right there
and in my mind
and i'll kiss you
right there
and in my mind
and you'll giggle
like a newborn baby
right there
and in my mind
and you'll take my hand
right there
and in my mind
and we'll go right into the core
burning everything away
hand in hand
right there
on the clicking, old film
and in my mind.

and the roll of film comes to an end
and the audience stands up
and the roaring of applause fills the room
and you rest your head on my shoulder
and all i can hear
is the gentle rhythm of your beating heart