ease

the rain began
so i walked
looking back
i wonder why
looking forward
i understand
how do you explain
a sincere lie?
you believe to be on a throne
while you believe i am on a mountain
when in reality
we're both in chairs
how did i see redemption
in those eyes?
it was pure,
but purity can be filtered
through hazy eyes
of misinterpreted want and belief
"THIS IS TRUE THIS IS TRUE I CAN FEEL IT"
is a bold statement
to be said when filled with false feelings
i was intoxicated with the concept of sobriety
holding hands was always euphoric
or so it seemed,
on a winter evening.
my hands were probably just cold.
you are freewheelin'
a constant, a standard, the ideal.
i am revisited
the electric, the unaccepted, the remembered.
this isn't to say we didn't reach the top of the ferris wheel
this is only to say
we never arrived at the right carnival.
so again,
i say farewell to items i usually never would have said hello to.
thanks for all the new garbage filling up my can
i'll make a new box for your pretty pictures and lock it with another rusty lock
i'll see it in a year or so
and remember why i locked it away.
to remember that once my false purity was honest,
and not always a fabricated ransom note.
you sang some songs before me
so i won't sing them now
i sang you some new songs,
and i won't sing them again.
i will close my passengers door to you now.
because you're not in my hot air balloon anymore,
you climbed in so willing,
and jumped out even easier.
i will change your channel to the evening news
to be soothed by the sounds of other sadness and destruction
thanks for your damage, though!
(i didn't want you to think i wouldn't credit you)
I should have known you signed the paper in pencil not blood,
an erasable promise,
is much easier to make.
looking through a telescope makes me realize you aren't a star at all,
you're just a carefully crafted satellite,
doing the work of the general public.
well done you tax dollar monster,
you've outdone yourself
please continue to miscalculate words and phrases
and quote the words you never knew.
happy ending of the classics,
happy beginning,
happy anniversary,
happy ending,
it all came so quick!
yet the repercussions resonate so heavily in me currently,
while you go on and play with the poison i died from.
enjoy the cheese in the mouse trap,
i hear it works better with peanut butter.
i am now underwater
opening my eyes
and breathing in.
this is harder,
i am choking,
but at least i'm choking on substance,
not smog.